To Survive the Nightmare
by yoru no ame
Summary: This is the story Tsukiko will never tell those who care for her - how she fought her captors to remain true to herself and the punishment inflicted as a result. Ties in with When all is Said and Done which will be posted soon.


Author's Note: Something very different for you today. It's a bit dark/disturbing and the POV is a switch away from the ordinary. This story isn't meant to be Rikuou x Tsukiko, but I guess if that's what you _really_ want to see, you can. All I have to say is that important does not always equal romantic.

To Survive the Nightmare

When she first woke up, she thought it had been a dream, a nightmare. Then she turned her head and saw the thick, bulky bandages. Felt the pain though the lingering fog of drug induced sleep.

* * *

She never wanted to hurt anyone. Never wanted her actions to cause pain to others, not even indirectly. That was why she refused to answer all the questions they asked her. She had a feeling and it told her that nothing good would come from sharing her knowledge.

"No."

It was the word she repeated the most.

"No."

There were threats. Vicious words and cruel suggestions. But they needed her. That gave her leverage.

"No."

She had to stick to her principles. They were all she had anymore.

She'd thought it would be easier when she met that other girl. About her age, maybe a year or two younger, with light brown hair down to her waist. That other girl always wore the most beautiful kimono. Tsukiko never wore kimono. At least, she was pretty sure it wasn't something she normally did. She was fairly certain that she preferred to wear dresses and skirts.

Something was off in this place. Somehow, she would realize from time to time, this wasn't the way things were supposed to be. Just thinking took effort. Something to do with the boys that took turns sitting outside her room. Trailing along a few paces behind her wherever she went.

The girl with the kimono had a nice smile. She'd hoped they could be friends. But though the other girl seemed friendly, she said some disturbing things.

"Better them than you." And just maybe an unspoken, i_better you than me./i_

Was that really true? Surely, there was another way. Why did i_anyone/i_ have to be hurt?

She wasn't sure she could trust that other girl, but one day she'd said something that lit a spark of memory.

A person. Someone she wanted to see. Someone who would be worrying about her.

It occurred to her that she needed to see this person, would do whatever she could to find them. She lied and crept and ran. They found her in the end.

She had to be punished, they said. Something a bit more extreme. Nothing else seemed to be working. Physical pain was the logical next step. But was that alone enough?

They held her down. Held her arm down. And with an antique katana she vaguely remembered seeing on display as a decoration, one of them cut her right hand from her arm. Completely severed.

She cried out, screamed with all she had. In pain. In horror. In shock that anyone could be so brutal. The detached hand was tossed into her lap and she could only watch as the blood soaked though the fabric of her skirt. Not sure if it was worse to look at the hand or the empty end to her arm, she squeezed her eyes shut. All she saw was red.

The drowsiness came quickly after that but she could remember how they brought in the ice and called for the doctor. It wouldn't do to have such a pretty girl with so obvious a disfigurement. Function wasn't important so long as the scar wasn't too big.

* * *

She revised her opinion. This i_was/i_ a nightmare. A waking nightmare she had to survive. There was someone out there she cared about. That glimmer of memory was what she held to, the only thing that could protect her. The warmth of someone who loves her. She held to it and fought.

* * *

End Notes: Oh my. Did I just cut off poor Tsukiko's hand? We barely know anything about her but from the very little we do know, she seems like a very sweet person. The idea behind this wasn't just to be cruel, but to explain a sentence I have written into another story that is maybe half written called, "When all is Said and Done." I seriously need to finish a ton of stories before I start any more new ones.


End file.
